Don't you send me to vm
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
