I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
