Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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