i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
