some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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