just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
