no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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