Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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