her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
