You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
