they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
