u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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