Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
