real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
