They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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