I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He felt like a one man threesome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
