I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
