Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
