So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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