# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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