paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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