And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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