Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
