Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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