i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
