Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
