I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize