im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
