i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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