You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
