Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
