ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
