standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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