Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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