I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
