she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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