Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I touched a dick in church today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
