How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
