I cockslap morals
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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