I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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