You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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