I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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