Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
