I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
