What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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