Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
