We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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