I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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