tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
