Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
As shirtless as possible
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
