i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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