my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
