the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
