just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
