To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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